More fantastic artwork

I love challenging myself to synthesize my reflection into an image. It's easier to explain and remember an image. I wish, though I had more skills in the art department.  

God provided another strong message of hope today through the book of Isaiah. He promises to hold our hand!!!! He helps us by fighting for us and working mightily but in it all He stops to comfort and lead in a gentle way! He does this for His glory, His fame.. But He does it out of love ...  

Let me stand back God, and let you battle this for us. And I'll remind myself in the scary pieces, the risky times, the huge moments that in those moments you hold my hand. 

I complicate things

This following God thing is difficult, there's no denying that. He calls us to big things, to hard things, to mysteries that are oceans deep ... But, at its core, God says, listen to me... then follow the next step I put in front of you. Don't think ahead to the next 15 staircases, follow the next step. Today's words from Pastor Craig was the challenge I needed to hear:

The road to the future rarely happens in a straight line, but it never happens unless we take time to hear Him speak... And then follow God's lead to the next step. 

forgive my artwork... I wanted to note the very large listening ears, the smaller mouth and simple charge of one next step.... 

Day ?

I missed a few days of journaling, not the quiet time, but journaling. This morning God beckoned me back to the paper and to the text. What a good word from Him.  

Pastor Craig said it this way (and it resonated deeply with my circumstances), "Sometimed yesterday's victory doesn't lead to peace but to further transition."  

We are there...  

Experiencing great victory but also feeling overwhelmed by the onslaught of transitions...  

I will keep looking for Him in the mystery and the great unknown. 

Day 16 & 17

16: I reflected on heaven, on BSF and where God has lead me this year as a result of this journey  

17: an outpouring. A cry heavenward. We heard so many good things and yet saw so many new challenges with our big unknown. We are stepping forward in faith. Help us remain in your will ... In your plan... You've called us out upon the water and now we need to trust that you'll keep us walking steadily in your grip.  

Day 15

Sigh when God gives me the same word through two different channels ... You would think I'd get a clue:  

Be JOYFUL always. PRAY continually. GIVE THANKS in all circumstances... Even in May. Even amid the utter chaos. Even when you are bone deep tired, IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. Truly, there's much to be thankful for right now... So.very.much. 

Day 13

Praying to God through writing ... Even when I totally mess up, He listens, He hears, He helps. 

Thank you, Jesus, amen.  

Day 12

Oh today was exhilarating in the word of God. I felt called to cast .. Cast all my cares upon Him, so cast I did. My journal is splattered with small things and big things and CATACLYSMIC things... But it doesn't matter their size. They are in His capable, loving hands.  

Day 10 and 11

I'm cheating here in my goal reporting by posting two days in one. I had the time set aside and enjoyed my quiet reflection but neglected to create the post. 

Day 10: reflected in the call of God in John to be the living embodiment of love. They will know we our Christians by our love... How far from that call do I live! 

Day 11: I went back to the text and the Lord spoke to me about Hope through David's Psalms. I was just out to coffee with a friend discussing hope... I loved how this passage prompted me not to my hope in an outcome or a result but to deeply embed my hope in His Word. If that is done properly no matter the outcomes He will sustain us. Sustenance... I love that word to. It's not lavish living, it's not perfection, it's what we need to live. Oh that I would embed my hope inside your Word and receive the sustenance that comes from all you provide there. 

Day 9

This morning I was overwhelmed, full of the weighty pieces of life that wear on a Mommy. I needed to reflect on the blessings to slow myself down, to remember I am His and He is mine. So, today I colored, and reflected in the stillness. And while my mind pulled and pressed and begged to move on, I remained, still and quiet before the Lord.  

I am thankful for His creativity, His direction, His provision, and His willingness to involve a flawed human being like me in His greater story.  

Day 8 - one week!

It wasn't easy this week. I find my heart and mind wandering at times very quickly but I do find myself craving this practice. 

In other words, my mad art skills today ... 😂 

Day 7

A reflective day of prayer, on the deck, in the sunshine ... A gift from God.

Sacred Space - Day 6

Today was not as focused as I would have liked. A two hour delay disrupted our morning plans. However, I was able to hear a focus from God today, one rich and succinct in its simplicity. 

Rabbi, I want to see.  

Yes, Lord.  

Sacred Space - Day 5

Sometimes it's more of a words day. Thank you for this time, Father. Teach me to surrender my agenda in the same way John surrendered.  

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Sacred Space - Day 4

I know, from a blog perspective that's two in one day, but I was having issues yesterday with my mobile app so ... I just posted yesterday's today as well... 

I'm struck afresh by God's faithfulness, no matter how I come to the text: weary, apprehensive, bored, lazy, He finds ways to speak to me. Each time I think He won't show up, He proves himself faithful and true. 

Thank you, Lord, for the precious time you give to me. I'm sorry it took me far too long to dedicate a sacred time to you. 

Let me listen for our whisper today - and ignore the shouts of ever present conformity. 

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Sacred Space - Day 3

Since work starts at 6:30 this morning today's wake up call was so early ... 

But, again, God speaks if not in the way I expect. 

I didn't choose a text today. Just a clear call to meditate and reflect on God's bigger purposes for us as a family. That calling to step out into the waves ... 

Today was prayer for clarity, direction, purpose and unity. 

You are good, God, Even when there's nothing good in me. 

Sacred Space - Day #2

This morning I felt I didn't have space, this week is busy. 
I got up anyway (at 5:15)
This morning I felt the text I had planned wouldn't speak to me. 
I read it anyway.

God speaks in spite of my frailty, inspite of my humanity ... In fact, He uses my humanity, my frailty, the death that permeates my life as part of the power of His message. 

Thank you, Father. 

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Creating Sacred Space

I've been working on arranging the space in my life in such a way as to promote time for reflection and time for growth. I'm feeling prompted to begin a journey into Biblical journaling ... A 30 day journey to see where God leads me when I give him space to speak. 

Today began with Day 1: Psalm 51:1-6 

I know my followers are few and far between, which is fine. That's not my purpose ... but I wonder if any of you have experience with journaling and could offer ways in which God spoke to you through this practice.  

Seasons of Love

12, 150 minutes
How do you measure a summer ... 
In bonfires, in Smo'res nights,
in night swims or snuggly movies. 
How do you measure, measure a summer. 

I'll spare you the attempt at a horrible re-construction of a truly great song. BUT be entirely sincere in saying that that's a lot of summer minutes. We averaged about 4.5 hours/day of children in the care of their teachers. We averaged about 6 days a week of attending Maranatha programming (some more, some less). When you do the math you wind up with a lot of contact minutes. 

How were those minutes used ?? They were used to: 

• Snuggle my children with hugs and kisses and tell them how loved they are
• Intentionally engage my kids in Biblical conversations about God as He applies to their lives
• Teach my children how to relax and have fun (SO NECESSARY IN SOME CASES)
• Model what it looks like to live for Jesus when you're a "big kid"
• Present them with missions opportunities so their perspective of the world broadens
• Encourage them to memorize scripture and hide it in their hearts 
• Connect with my kids, learn about what makes them tick and build into their lives
• Give them ample opportunity to make amazing memories: bonfires, skit nights (that we are still listening to jokes from, most of which we don't fully understand), popcorn/pajama/movie night, tab performances filled with ice cream and popsicles
• Teach them songs that flood our house for months and months and months afterwards. 
• And in Maddie's case ... teach her how to participate in an organized classroom and learn to trust others. 

The end result ... there are pages and pages and pages of memories in our photo gallery that summarize the beauty of this summer (I honestly can't WAIT to make their summer canvas but I MUST finish Maddie's belated birthday book first) but no memory will be as dear to me as these two videos. 

I debated posting these because a faith journey is so personal. And these are children  - their faith journey will grow and it will change and I pray that it deepens, but it might not for a while.. But when I asked them if I could record their "testimony" for sharing, they were so eager. They wanted - to "tell the world" about who they know and what they've found. 

So, thank you, teachers ... this year's teachers, last year's pre-K staff who laid an incredible foundation for them... and even the adventure staff and pool staff who helped build their trust and boost their confidence. All of you play a part in God's continuing work in our family's life. We truly can't thank you enough. Thank you for dedicating your summer to this season of love. You've made an eternal impact for those nearest and dearest to me. 

A heart overflowing

Last night it was midnight as I drove through Grand Haven, headed south, completing a drive I have made countless times in the last 5 years. Maybe it was because it was so late (after a long week) or maybe it was because my nearly 7 year old was slumped over, out cold, exhausted from another unbelievable summer week, but I began to reflect on our summer. Each time I enter this space I end up breathless - overwhelmed - with a heart overflowing. 

I know that we are fortunate - fortunate to have my generous parents who let us live in with them all summer. I know that we are blessed - blessed to have the opportunity to be "residents" at a place like Maranatha. I know that I am lucky - lucky to have so many choices for my littles to do and be engaged with at our fingertips. But the climbing wall, the zipline, the beach, the pool, the tennis courts, the mini golf, the playgrounds, the walking trails ... none of things come to mind each time I reflect. 

Instead, I see the precise way my tiny toddler's golden ringlets fall across the expanse of pink rain jacket as she snuggles her tired head against Julie's shoulder. In that moment I'm reminded of all that relationship means to Maddie - of how she's learning from Julie to be joyful in every situation, of how she's learning that rules and discipline and structure have a place in life - of how she knows that even when she makes mistakes people will forgive, and restore a relationship and love you just as much (if not more) for your growth. 

I see my little boy's face - the way it lights up with excitement - when he sees Jack, Zac, Noah and Caleb - how through them his big blue eyes take in REAL boys ... boys who love sports, who love SPEED, who love playing in the water and having fun. They embody all he wants to be someday - but they also take time to stop their play (EVERY.BLESSED.TIME) to accept his hugs, to hear his stories, to chase him around the grounds and who, in so doing, teach him how to show Jesus's love to small children - even if you're a "cool boy." 

I see my oldest - my contemplative, calculated, firstborn child - with mouth wide, face purpled from lack of oxygen, singing with her soul wide and heart abandoned. She's eager to please her teachers - (all of them, but maybe one more than the rest) - and because she truly believes the words she's belting (more than a little off key), "Hand on my heart this much is true. There's no life apart from you. Lay me down, lay me down..." she sings with everything in her spirit. She's learning that knowing OF Jesus is different than KNOWING Jesus. She's watching the way her teachers live that life and modeling it as best her little body can. 

These images - and so many more - permanently affix themselves to the soundtrack of our summer. They've ingrained themselves into my heart each time I drive US31. I see these - and thousands of others in my minds eye - and each time I praise God that we have this place. I'm thankful for the spiritual renewal we feel each summer. I'm thankful for  refreshment the grounds provide ... but I'm also thankful for the legacy of faith grown here. 

I pray that someday - some young Mom exhausted from the work-life balance of every day life is driving through Grand Haven thinking about the way that Miss Kayleigh taught the Bible lesson to her daughter. I hope that someday I see a preschool boy run and jump into Mr. Benjamin's arms for his daily hug - and I dream that someday there's a tiny infant in the nursery who sees my curly haired Miss Maddie and is comforted and soothed while her Mommy takes a breath, a quiet prayer walk and sips her coffee on the beach in solitude. 

Thank you, God, for the blessing of a heart overflowing, for the legacy of Maranatha, and for the hope it gives me for our family as we navigate this world.  

This world is not my home

This summer has been an incredible journey already. We've spent most of it at our summer haven, Maranatha Bible and Missionary Conference in Norton Shores. We've also done a Science Sampler at Hope College Science Camp, "traveled" to two countries at Camp Witte Daycare, participated in Maranatha's FCA sponsored Tennis Camp, taken private tennis lessons with our friend, Andrew, gone camping for a long weekend at TriPonds Family Campground with our Compound Group, and visited the cottage for tubing and skiing lessons twice. We've completed 1/3 to 1/2 of each child's bucket list, blogged nearly every week AND finished half of their summer reading goals for the library. So, its been a busy summer. BUT nothing, really nothing, was better than tonight's conversations with my kids. 

Let me set it up. 

The kids work each week on a fresh song and bible memory verse at Maranatha. They also sing the summer theme song. So, these past 21 days have been filled with new music and new Scripture to encapsulate their new learning. 

This week the kids stayed through Thursday morning, so they missed their Friday evening Tabernacle "performance." They were a little bummed, so I downloaded one of the songs and they did a private performance for me tonight in the living room. Their concert included many weeks combined and was filled with excited motions and lots of loud sing-song shouting :). 

After their most recent song Kayleigh left me gasping for breath by articulating that she thought "Toby Mac's City on our Knees" song was important because it was a "call to action" for them. The kids could be the place where witnesses were born. They could be the "why not here" the song talked about (even adding MARANATHA after certain lyrics). She unpacked that the choices and lines the song talk about are the lines of faith. That you must believe in Jesus, confess him as your Savior and continue sharing that message wherever you go whether in church, school, China, or even at a campground. 

While I was impressed with the depth of her understanding of the song, I am a bit used to Kayleigh learning and understanding spiritual truths. She's pretty perceptive and can discern well. She often has unique applications and insights that her Dad and I never considered. But tonight, it was Benjamin's turn to give me a sucker punch. At his request, he and Kayleigh sang me a very loud and rousing rendition of Bound for Glory as recorded by the Vertical Church Band. 

I applauded and gave Ben accolades for singing so enthusiastically and with real conviction. He was not going to be put off so easily. 

B: But Mom, you didn't ask me if I understood that song. 
Mom: (thinking he really wouldn't/shouldn't as it really wasn't his song for the week, I threw him an "easy one"): It says death is not my ending, what does that mean? 
B: Mom (with great annoyance), that's too easy. If you know Jesus you go to Heaven. So death isn't your ending. 
Mom: (pause)
B: That's not what I wanted to explain. I get what the whole song means, MOM. It means that even though we live here, this is just our house. Its not our home. Because when we know Jesus, and have him as our Savior, our real HOME is heaven. This is just a house." 
Mom: (speechless).  
B: AND when it says, "Gone when Jesus calls my name, endless joy, endless praise all when Jesus calls my name." It means he's gonna say, "BENJAMIN someday and I get to be with Him and sing a lot, a lot, a lot." (grin the size of Texas because I bet he truly will sing all day, every day). 

Can't deny he's got the Spirit inside of him. 

Thank you, Lord for gripping his sweet and sensitive heart. And thank you friends at Maranatha for re-inforcing what we work on at home, school and church and for building and growing a love of Jesus each day at class. Thank you for helping both kids to articulate their faith in a way they couldn't do before - and for giving me these FANTASTIC songs to help follow up on all year long. 

I hope you know what a treasure and a gift you are to this family - and to the lives you impact each day. I hope you see the changes that we see ... if not today, or now, someday when you go home.