discouraged - to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit
This week we had a few events that have slowed down our process, they've made me feel discouraged. On top of that, grief still shrouds our home. We have moments of life and fun, but we still are surrounded by deep sadness. My personal quiet times are often vent sessions filled with questions or slews of accusations. Church isn't the well of Hope and Life that it typically is for me. Instead it's a place where I directly confront the questions I have and the hurt I feel. I don't sing like I used to.
So I find it incredibly ironic that my youngest has taken to singing, boldly, loudly and CONSTANTLY. If she's awake, there is a song on her beautiful little lips. It's as if she's saying, in the absence of your voice, Mom, I'll fill this void. This morning, as I sat in the pitch dark, by the fireplace, a coffee in my hands, I heard this song drift down the stairway,
"All things bright and beautiful You are
All things wise and wonderful You are
In my darkest night You brighten up the skies
A song will rise
I will sing a song of hope, sing along
God of heaven come down, heaven come down
Just to know that You are near is enough
God of heaven come down, heaven come down ..."
Over ... and over ... and over ... Just the first verse and chorus. That's all she chose to sing.
Through the beautiful voice of my tiny daughter. It was as though the Spirit whispered, to me ... Courage, dear heart. Courage ...
So, its no additional coincidence that this beautiful image came today, a preview from our precious auction artist ... around dinner (just as my discouragement was taking root for the evening).
A little reminder of that quiet voice in the dark ...
A song will rise.